I Am What I'm Not. Huhh?

I am a bit strange it seems. I don't feel good about the things I have done, but rather, I feel bad about the things I haven't done. In other words, my accomplishmenst don't make me happy, because I am too busy making myself unhappy thinking about all the things I haven't accomplished. Is this a common thing for human beings, or is it just me?
So, are we the things we do, or are we the things we don't do? Or, are we both? Being an intelligent thinking being is not exactly an easy thing. It's complicated. Well, I don't know how it is for you, but for me, it's definitely complicated.
No matter how many of my tasks and goals I manage to finish or reach, it's the ones I didn't, that stay on my mind. That just doesn't seem right. Although it's not exactly the same, it's a little like being unhappy after spending a month in Cancun, Mexico (a beautiful vacation resort), because you didn't go to Bora Bora (a beautiful island).
Maybe, just maybe, being happy has nothing to do with how we feel about ourselves, but how others make us feel, and maybe more importantly, how we make others feel. Just a thought. I could be wrong. I mean, I am only human.

Full Speed Ahead, & Damn the Torpedos

I don't know who first said, "Full speed ahead, and damn the torpedos", but I always thought it had to be a World War II battle ship Commander. Submarines would hunt enemy ships and sink them with torpedos, which were self-propelled explosive devices, or simply put, mobile bombs that were fired under water in the ocean.
The quotation, however, has become an expression, meaning to charge (or proceed) ahead regardless (without concern for) the consequences. This is something I need to practice more, because I think too much about things I should or need to do, and then become overwhelmed by them.
Take cleaning my apartment, for instance (for example). I kept thinking about all the cleaning I had to do, vaccing, dusting, washing the floors, washing the the windows, the kitchen counters, cleaning the bathroom, etc. I got tired just thinking about it, and so, of course, didn't get anything done.
Until I stopped thinking about all the tasks I had to do, and just concentrated on one. After that one, I could think about the next one. And so on, and so forth (a longer way of saying etc., etc.)
The other thing I have to practice, is pacing myself. Many times my energy is very limited, but I still try to get everything done right away. This leads to exhaustion, a bad night's sleep, and usually very low energy the following day. So, I am trying to do smaller amounts of cleaning at one time, and spread all the cleaning out over a few days.
Of course, the best way to clean, is to pay someone else to do it. And that's the way I will do the cleaning as soon as I win the lottery.

I Sleep in My Dreams

This past week it seems I can not get enough sleep, even though I am sleeping anywhere from 7 1/2 to 9 hours each night. I wonder how someone would go about getting a job sleeping. It's a job I could do extremely well, at the moment.
Or maybe I should try to set a new record for the length of time sleeping. I think I might need more practice for that, however. There was a man named Rip Van Winkle who supposedly slept for a hundred years, but, again supposedly, he had some help. It seems he made a couple of supernatural beings angry, and they put him to sleep for a hundred years. Not knowing any supernatural beings off hand, I don't think I could get that kind of help.
One thing that happens when I do sleep a lot, is that I have a lot of strange dreams. Some of them are so vivid (seem very real), that when I wake up I believe the dream is really happening, and I am still in it. It reminds me of the story of a man who leads two lives. One while he is awake, and a completely different one, in a different world, and in a different city, while he sleeps.
So which life is real, or are they both real?
So, am I a man dreaming while I sleep, or am I dream dreaming I am awake?
Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. The actual quote goes, "Am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming I am a man?" That was from a famous philosopher who had a dream he was a butterfly.
Enough. Time to go to sleep. Sweet dreams...

Cleaning Up

Cleaning up is never any fun. Unless, of course, you're gambling, in which case, cleaning up could really make your day. But I don't gamble. So, as I said, cleaning up is never any fun for me. I really do not like cleaning, but I am trying to do as my Mother and Sister tell me, which is do a little at a time.
Friday I planned on doing a lot of cleaning, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, I was visited by a couple of maintenance men and a plumber, so never had a chance to get anything done other than keep Edgar calm.
Saturday I got the dusting done, and then was overwhelmed by an attack of needing-to-lay-on-the-couch for the rest of the day. But I did manage to watch a lot of tv.
Sunday was the perfect day to practice procrastination, which means practicing never doing today what you can put off doing until tomorrow.
Monday (yesterday) I did vac (clean the floors with a vacuum cleaner) the apartment, and I also got all my laundry washed and dried. So, I now have clean underwear and socks again.
Today I had to wait for a maintenance man to come and finish some work on a couple of doors, which he has, and now he is gone.
Which leaves me with lots of time to start washing the floors. But first, I think I better relax on the couch with Edgar, and read the newspaper. Who Knows? If I wait long enough, maybe someone will come by and wash the floors for me. Now that I would call really cleaning up...I should be so lucky.

Too Much This, Not Enough That, But We Do Need the Rain...

So, I had great plans for Friday. There were many things I wanted to accomplish. To quote a great writer, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry," which means plans often never work out the way we wanted them to. First, Friday morning a maintenance man showed up to finish some work on the bathtub/shower. When he finally finished, I managed to get out to run a couple of errands (going to the grocery store and the pharmacy). When I got back, the kitchen sink was backing up (water was coming up into the sink). While I was on the phone to call maintenance, a workman stuck his face in the kitchen window to see if I was having problems and scared the hell out of Edgar. It turns out he was working on the sink next door, and since both sinks use the same pipe to drain, well, we both were now having problems. So he now had to come in to work on the problem from my side, which took all afternoon.
During that time I had to stay in the living room to keep Edgar calm. It seems he didn't like that particular workman, and remained agitated the entire time he was there. Luckily another workman replaced him after the first couple of hours.
When the last man left at about 6 o'clock, he told me he couldn't fix the problem, which was a drain blockage in the pipe line. But, he had called a plumber, who would be here in about an hour. The plumber did fix the problem, but by the time he left it was after 8 o'clock, and the day was gone.
I suppose it was for the better that I had not had the time to wash the kitchen floor that morning, since it would now have to be washed again.
And that, my friends, was my exciting Friday. Most of the things I planned to do on Friday still need to be done. And since it is such a lovely rainy day, I believe I am going to spend the day not doing them again.
Some days we are prevented from doing things we wanted or planned to do. Other days, we are given excellent excuses not to do those same things, which we now don't really feel like doing. Rainy day, dream away, let the sun take a holiday...Enjoy!

Nothing, Something, Everything...

Well, today I have nothing I feel like writing about. Although, I guess writing about nothing could be considered writing about something. But there's no way that writing about nothing could be confused with writing about everything. Writing about everything would be impossible, I think. Plus, it would take a very long time. Probably more than one lifetime. On the other hand, writing about nothing should be easy, and take no time at all. However, I do know a few people who can talk about nothing for hours. So I suppose it would be possible to write about nothing for a very long time, also. But it would definitely be quite boring to read. It does seem a little confusing, if not complicated, doesn't it? Or maybe it's just me.
Anyway, to summarize: writing about nothing could be considered writing about something but would probably be very boring for the reader. So it's probably better to write about something, but first one has to have something to write about. Writing about everything is just unthinkable, if it's at all possible, unless one is writing about everything that is only of concern to the writer. In which case, it would probably be very boring for everyone else, and so would be the same as writing about nothing.
And that, is all I have to say about that.

No Worries, No Headaches

Do not worry if the post I did earlier today was too much for you. As sometimes happens, I got a bit "carried away", or went somewhat "overboard" (went too far) with my writing about mythology. So, if you can understand some, or most of it, great. But don't give yourself a headache. I will keep it simpler next time, and as I said, hopefully a bit less serious. Hope everyone is, and stays, well...

~Problems are Small, Life is Huge~

Most of the time when our apple carts are upset, it is of no real importance. Mere (just) bumps in the road. (Refer to the last post (entry) in the blog about apple carts, in case you didn't read it, and don't understand the reference). At those times when we become upset, we lose sight of the big picture.
Two days ago my insurance company refused to pay for a perscription for an ointment I have been using for eczema (very sensitive and dry skin) for years. I let it upset me more than I should have. I realize now I will just have to find something else to use, but at the time I became depressed and angry. How silly of me. It really is nothing earth shattering (no big deal).
I read a quote by Robert Redford (for those that don't recognize the name, he is a very famous actor and movie director) in the paper today: "I believe in mythology. I guess I share Joseph Campbell's notion that a culture or society without mythology would die, and we're close to that."
Mythology is a body or framework of myths. Myths are stories or beliefs that may or may not be true, that explain our world, our history, and the meaning of our lives. The Chinese culture has an elaborate (large and complicated) mythology going back into the long history of China. The most studied mythology in classical education is Greek Mythology.
Joseph Campbell is an authority and expert on mythology and has written many books, some extremely well known and well read, about mythology. His books are not only famous, but are used in many college, and some high school, courses of study.
To me, the importance in mythology is that it not only adds meaning to our lives, but it also adds mystery, magic, and wonder to our lives. It gives us a big, no, make that huge, picture to look at, so those little apple cart upsets, or small bumps in the road, look even more insignificant (small, of no importance).
One of the big problems we face with all our scientific progress and new technology, is that our cultures and societies are losing all our old mythology, but we are not creating a new one. And I also believe in Joseph Campbell's notion that we need mythology for our cultures and societies to survive.
Anyway, this is a subject that could be talked or written about for a very long time. This is probably too long for you, and probably boring as well.
Tomorrow I will write about something not so serious, and hopefully more interesting for you.

Don't Let the Horse Run Away with Your Apple Cart

There is an old idiom (expression) first recorded in 1788, 'Don't upset the apple cart.' An apple cart was a small open wagon, similar to a wheelbarrow, but much bigger, and could be pushed by hand, or sometimes pulled by a horse. And, of course, it would be piled high with apples. With me so far?
Now, for any of my friends from the Library who are struggling to learn English, please remember: if you have difficulty with any of these crazy blog entries or posts, take notes, and then when we go back to the Library, please feel free to ask me any questions you like. You can also email me at callmejack3@sbcglobal.net.
Anyway, back to the apple cart. Now, the word upset can be used to describe physical illness, such as, I have an upset stomach. Meaning you are sick to your stomach, or possibly feel nauseous. Upset can also mean you are emotionally distressed. Something either is stressing you out, depressing you, or making you mad/angry.
Originally, upsetting the apple cart meant you were disturbing or interferring with the 'status quo' (which would be how things usually work, normal everyday activity), or with someone's plans. If you upset someone's apple cart (such as shake it, or bump into it), well, apples go everywhere. I think you get the idea.
We can also have our own apple carts upset. Our 'apple cart' would represent our plans and the smooth running of our lives.
So tomorrow I will write about a couple of my more recent apple cart disturbances. In the meantime (from now until then), don't let your horse run away with your apple cart. Or, in other words, don't let anything upset you too much. And, of course, stay out of trouble...

The Magic Is All Around Us

A friend of mine said we should be more like children. He was referring to the fact that children learn much quicker than adults. I am afraid that as adults, to learn as quickly as children is not possible. But I do agree that we should be more like children.
It would be a wonderful thing to be able to see the world with new eyes every day, as if the world were brand new. As a child I could see the magic of life all around me. As we get older we seem to lose this ability to see the wonder and splendor of the world. But it's still there. It has not gone away. We have just stopped seeing it.
So maybe we do need to be more like children. And maybe, we need to stop being so caught up in our own individual worries and concerns, and take the time to really look around us in order to see the magic that surrounds us as we go about our lives. There is so much in the world to appreciate, and to treasure.
I am not always as thankful as I should be. The world is an amazing place. We should not waste this great gift, but give it all the appreciation we can.

Edgar Likes to Yell

My friend Edgar, who is a bird, likes to yell when he hears one of two things. The first is a siren. It doesn't matter whether it is a police siren, a siren on a firetruck, or an ambulance. But when he hears one, even if it's on tv, he gets all excited and starts yelling. I don't know what he thinks is making that noise, but he's got to yell at it. For all I know he might believe it's some large and unusual bird. The other sound he gets excited about is the sound of someone whistling, but especially when its coming from the tv. Something I've noticed recently is that more commercials on tv have someone whistling in the background, much to the delight of Edgar.
We all need something to get excited about once in awhile, and Edgar doesn't get out much. In fact, he doesn't get out at all. So I don't hold it against him (get mad at him, or hold a grudge) when he does some yelling. Well, most of the time that is.
He does have one bad habit. When I am talking on the phone for a few minutes, he starts whistling and making loud bird calls. He even likes to get right up to the telephone and start yelling into it. I guess he just wants to be part of the conversation. But it is a little tough on the ears of the person on the other end of the phone line, as well as my own.
He is a very good bird and companion, however. A bit weird (strange, different), but I love him anyway. And being kind of weird myself, how can I hold that against him...

Where, Oh, Where, Has My Little Dog Gone?

The title is actually a title of a song. I, however, am not speaking of my little dog, but my abundant youthful energy. I seem to have misplaced it. I have looked everywhere, but I simply cannot find it. I wish I could buy some, or acquire some in some other easy manner (way), but it seems it is not to be. As the French say, C'est la vie (such is life).
My energy seems to run (come & go) in cycles. I may have 2 or 3, sometimes 4 or 5, days with a relatively good to (occasionally) excellent energy level, and then 1 or 2 days when everything I do seems to be a struggle, including, but not limited to, getting out of bed, getting dressed, going out my front door, etc., etc...
It is usually best for me if I use these low (sometimes very low) energy days to rest. Sometimes, like today, these are good days to read for pleasure (enjoyment), and try to give King Edgar (for those of you who don't know, King Edgar the Magnificent is a cockatiel, the smallest member of the parrot family of birds, who is also my responsibilty and my master. I am but his humble servant) as much attention as I can. Other days, I don't even have the energy to concentrate enough to read, so I watch a lot of bad t.v., and, you guessed it, give King Edgar all the attention he demands.
Is there a lesson here? I think so. To take advantage of those days when I have the energy, and to allow myself the rest and relaxation I need on those days when I can't find any energy to speak of.
And, of course, to never waste energy unnecessarily, which means, I must do my best to stay out of trouble...

What Color Is Purpose? Say what?

What purpose is there in purpose? Well, without purpose it becomes more difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Without purpose our lives seem meaningless, and not particularly valuable. Purpose is sometimes the only thing that keeps me moving forward, sometimes happily, and sometimes not so happily. But it does keep me moving all the same.
So, what is purpose? Purpose is an obligation we have given ourselves to do certain things that we decide we have to do no matter what. Sometimes they are things we do so we feel better about ourselves, such as taking a shower, cleaning our homes, being a good father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, good friend, etc. Even our entertainment can have a purpose. Besides having fun, we can try to exercise and expand our minds with the type of television shows and movies we watch, and the books and peiodicals (magazines and newspapers) we read. For me there is even purpose (although sometimes I need reminding) in allowing my body and mind to rest, because I function much better when rested.
And there is sometimes great purpose in having no purpose. We all need occasionally to take time to appreciate all that is around us that we usually do not pay attention to and take for granted. Yes, it is good to give our lives purpose and meaning, but we do have to remember that life is short, and we also need to take the time to take a look around once and awhile, and enjoy ourselves. So, I will live life as purposefully as I can in all regards and try to take nothing for granted. Until next time, live and enjoy...