Caught by Gravity, It takes Levity to Break Free

Christmas is over, and I have survived. There has always been a certain melancholy flavor to the Christmas Season for me. And it has only gotten worse since the unexpected death of my brother Jeff, which will have been 8 years ago in another 3 weeks. But I did have some additional help getting through yesterday. First, was a wonderful book written by a favorite writer of mine, Graham Joyce, entitled, "How To Make Friends With Demons." There is a brief, but magnificent, story within the story, where one of the more minor (but no less important in his own way) characters recounts a tale of how he was injured in Desert Storm (the first war with Iraq). He remembers having stepped on  something in the desert that made a loud click , which he believed to be a land mine. He then did his best to contact his mates (fellow soldiers) by radio, while he stood still so as not to trigger the mine. After a good amount of time had passed, an Arab with one eye came walking towards him from out of the desert, and then proceeded to have a conversation with him. This Arab, who the soldier later believes to be a demon, tells him that gravity got him into his predicament, and what he needs to get out of it, is levity. The Arab himself, finds this rather humorous, and it is, double meaning and all. But you'll have to take my word for it, the book was just what I needed, and truly is a marvelous work of fiction.
The other unlooked for boost to my spirits came form the return of Doctor Who for his annual Christmas adventure. And it was incredibly uplifting, even considering how much I do appreciate all the adventures of the Doctor. You would have to be a fan and follower of the TV show to really appreciate the story, but the title character goes from a despair of life, back to his normal zest for life. That's putting it quite simply, but yeah, it made me glad to be alive.
And then, there was an email from a friend of mine in Spain, which made any problems of my own seem quite puny. After hearing about the economic troubles there (our's pale by comparison), the government restrictions on salaries, the media, and human rights, and the choices the people have to make between the high cost of prescription medicine and the other necessities, well...I am damn lucky to be living here. And we are extremely lucky that our president is a compassionate man like Obama, instead of some moronic, uncaring representative of the Tea Party. Or, as my friend suggested in his email, like Spain, we would be trying to solve our economic woes entirely by cuts to government programs, most especially for the poor, the disadvantaged, and the middle class. And life would be a much harder state of affairs for everyone but the rich. 
But the truly marvelous thing, is my friend still has that joy of life, and has always had a wonderful sense of humor. And loving to cook, he was preparing a large Christmas dinner for family and friends, which he does every year. Even though we have never met in person, and probably never will, I'm happy to call him a friend.      

A Happy & Merry Christmas to All, Wherever You Be

Regardless of your religion, or whether you believe in Santa Claus or not, Christmas is a holiday with heart. It represents the warm, loving, and giving side of human nature. And God knows, we need a whole lot more of that. I don't believe that Christmas is just for Christians, or rich white men, or heterosexuals. Christmas isn't a holiday, it's an attitude that can't be adopted for just a single day. If you think so, you just don't get it. It doesn't even have to be called Christmas. Call it whatever you like. 
The general idea is that man is, and always was, a weak and sinful creature. And God (or whatever you would like to call Him/Her) sent his Son to be sacrificed for the salvation of humanity. And from the looks of things, we could do with a whole lot of that. I could speak of all the terrible things that have happened recently, such as Sandy Hook And all the atrocities that have happened in the past, the things that are happening right now, and everything that will happen in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. But the intelligent among us know all this already. On the plus side, for all the horrible things we are capable of, we also have an amazing ability to step-up and lend whatever help is necessary in times of hardship and sorrow. Human beings do have a truly remarkable capacity to shine in the face of adversity and crisis. 
I hope that there is a Christmas, with all the spirit it represents, in all the alternate worlds, throughout the multiverse. For I would hate to think of any people having to live without the hope that this simple holiday, with all it's complex symbolism, means in the hearts and to the hopes of human kind. 
Peace, my friends. Whatever you are doing today, I hope life seems a little warmer and brighter in the midst of all our trials and tribulations.

The Hunt for Santa Claus

I just got back from an expedition to the North Pole. I've always wanted to find Santa's workshop, and watch the elves as they made the toys for all the world's children. Unfortunately, I never located that magical place. Maybe you really do have to be a child, or at least see with the eyes of a child, to find that magical place. But, at least, I did get enough fresh air to last me a good while. I still haven't shook off the chill, however.
Amazingly enough, Albert managed to take care of Eddie while I was gone. Eddie seemed no worse for wear, but he did act awfully happy to see me. And the place was fairly well trashed. I'm still working on getting it back to relatively normally messy state.
Anyroad, if there is a lesson to be learned from my trip up North, other than it's very cold up there, it's that we have to learn to all be our own small versions of Santa Claus. Not just for ourselves and those close to us, but for all those who need it. And I'm not talking about just material things and money. I personally don't have anything much that I can give. Except what is really important, which is the warmth of heart, the kindness of word and deed, and the sharing of what makes us human, our capacity for love.
So. On this eve of Christmas Eve, I wish you all well, and hope that this holiday season touches your hearts and spirits.

What the Hell?! (Credit Goes to Sabrina)

To paraphrase a quote I have used previously, Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you just might miss it.
So, my battle with my over-active immune system goes on. Today's not too bad, hence I am writing this, among other things.
My Mother got out of surgery a short time ago, and is now in the recovery room. She had to have something put into her head to drain some water that collected there after a head injury. It's a procedure that this particular surgeon does on a regular basis, and no big deal. She will have to remain in the hospital for 2 or 3 days, however. She also had to have her head shaved, which she wasn't particularly thrilled about. At least she'll get to wear some colorful scarves. She says it will be a good excuse to stop dying her hair.
Things are usually not what they appear to be, probably for a couple of reasons. We are conditioned to see the world in a certain way, starting from birth on up. Selective perception. We are taught to think in a rational and linear manner. Seeing the world this way makes it hard to recognize the wonder and magic all around us. It's also not just boring, but spirit killing. Luckily for me over the course of my life, I ran into a few people (and circumstances) that gave me the gift of seeing life in an entirely new and different way. It was a truly marvelous gift. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He (or she) is just not who we thought. One should not be too trusting of all that one has been taught during the course of advancing to adulthood.
Anyroad, with the holidays in full swing, remember that giving always feels better than receiving. If you don't agree, then the meaning of Christmas has passed you by. You have my sympathy.
In wrapping up this short hello, let me just say, today was a good day. Of course, any day you don't wake up dead can't be all bad. I find when I go with the flow, and today it was easy to do that, and don't struggle against the nature of things, it does make for a much more enjoyable day. 
I also believe I may have found someone who can teach me Tai Chi. I look forward to it.
In the meantime, I will press on, as should you. The world is a strange and wondrous place. Look around. Enjoy. Relax. Laugh (as much as possible). Try to spread that laughter around. Smile at least. It can be contagious. Be well.   

Dead Dogs Don't Bark (At Least I Can't Hear Them)

Yeah, Yeah...I'm still here. Although I'm not exactly jumping for joy. Why am I not thrilled to be in the land of the living? Well, actually, a good part of the time, I am happy to still be walking around. The rest of the time, I am doing my best to suffer through it. I know there are many, many people in far worst situations than my own. But I can't argue with my body. It simply doesn't respond the way I would prefer. I know my CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) won't kill me. At least that's what they tell me. But there are times I wish it would. It's like the old CFIDS joke. After the doctor gives his diagnosis, he says, "The good news is, you are going to live. The bad news is, you are going to live." And there are times it does seem like bad news. But, I am a firm believer in what Sammy "The Bull" Gravano supposedly said, "Every day above ground is a good one."  
Anyroad. This is a bit of a rough patch for me. Also complicated by what my sister tells me is SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I'm not a terribly fun guy at the moment. Albert is avoiding me, which is a bit ironic considering he's the one with the disposition of a bear. After all, he is a bear. Eddie doesn't mind too much, as long as I don't make any loud and startling noises. And of course, as long as he keeps getting his head rubbed.
So. I will keep trying to not get angry, or upset, every time I am physically unable to do the things I want or feel I need to do. I will do my best to accept my physical limitations. But don't expect me to be happy about it. I will, however, do my best to treat myself as well as I can. You should do the same. 
By the way...have you ever heard of anyone seeing the ghost of a dog? Or for that matter, any animal? 
Albert believes animals, and bears in particular, are too intelligent to return in spirit for any reason once they die. That's an interesting perspective.  

The Eating & Shopping Holiday Extravaganza

I've been on quite the exercise regime lately. First, I misplaced my sense of humor. Couldn't find the damn thing anywhere. And I did look everywhere. I spent days backtracking myself to every place I even thought I might have been. I took an ad out in the newspaper, and I put up fliers all over town. I almost accused Albert of stealing it, but luckily for me, I thought better of pursuing that avenue of self destruction and painful death. It hasn't turned up, but I'm still looking.
Next, due to a mysteriously missing turkey, which had disappeared from my sister's freezer, I was called upon to go to New Hampshire to try to hunt said dead bird down. After finding some large, muddy bird tracks in my sister's kitchen, I ended up following the tracks out into the woods behind her house, where I was set upon by a band of about thirty wild turkeys. They chased me through the woods, across a highway (an interesting point: although the cars did nothing more than beep their horns at me, they all came to a stop for the marauding turkeys), and into another wood. Luckily there was a local road running through that particular wood, and I managed to jump on the back of a hay truck. The turkeys pursued the truck for a couple of miles, but finally gave up. The driver was a bit surprised when he finally stopped and I climbed out. He stood there with his mouth open, not saying a word, as I thanked him and walked away. 
As far as the missing turkey goes, I can't prove a thing. It would seem that it was stolen by the gang of raucous wild turkeys. Why, I can't say, and don't even have a good guess. It would appear to be a mystery that might not ever be solved. We did, however, have our Thanksgiving feast. But no turkey. There was ham, sheperd's pie, cranberry sauce, spinach with cheese, wonderful sweet potatoes with marshmallow and other things, and, of course, pie. And, more pie. That would be pumpkin pie, Boston cream pie, blueberry pie, and apple pie. Also, some kind of raspberry crumb pastry. But, no turkey. What the hell would a bunch of wild turkeys do with a 20 lb. frozen turkey. Thinking about it is driving me crazy.
I'm not big on shopping, so I was home most of the day on Black Friday. But they (the news) say that retail says were very good, both in the stores, and online. Today, by the way, is Cyber Monday. You're not allowed to go to the mall, but must stay home and do all your shopping on the internet. Otherwise, you just could end up being labelled a weirdo. You heard it here.
This is a hard time of year for me, actually. It seems I always suffer from a kind of physical depression around this time each year. A general lack of energy, and feeling of doom. Ok. Maybe not exactly a sense of doom. That might be a bit of an exaggeration. But the physical lack of bounding good cheer, seems to lead, or possibly be connected, to a bit of a mental depression. My sister believes I have that disorder, SAD. I don't know what that stands for. I guess I'll have to google it if I really want to know. I'm not sure I care. I do know it has to do with shorter daytime hours, and a lack of sunlight. So my sister wants to buy me one of those lights you wear strapped to your head that shine on your face. She says they do that for people suffering from SAD. On the other hand, my mother wants to know why I still don't have a wife. I told her it's hard to find the time to date these days, never mind looking for a wife. I suppose I could join a dating/matchmaking service. Nah. I'm too busy being chased by gangs of turkeys. Besides, my search for my sense of humor is proving to be a real time consumer. Hmmm....maybe I do need a girlfriend. 
I hope that those of you who celebrated Thanksgiving had a truly wonderful holiday. And I do hope that those of you who don't celebrate Thanksgiving, had your own reasons to celebrate life. And I hope you did it justice.
And so, enjoy, and be kind to each other...

Damn Zombies

It used to be you could go weeks, sometimes even months, without seeing a zombie. These days, it seems they're popping up all over the place. I was in the gardening department at Walmart last week, when one of their employees yelled something I didn't catch. When I looked up, the employee, a she, fired a gun (a really big hand gun) in my direction. I figured she was going postal, and I was the first victim. But in fact, she put a bullet very neatly between the eyes of a zombie that had wandered in, and was about sink some really disgusting looking teeth into my shoulder. I felt obligated to buy her a large latte (a somewhat expensive cup of coffee) after that. Who wouldn't?
My neighbor had to call 911 last night because somehow a rogue (rampaging all by its lonesome) zombie got into her apartment, and had her trapped in the closet. I didn't hear a thing until the special Police Zombie Squad arrived. At least it gave her a good story to tell her friends.
I still remember my first zombie. I was 7 years old. She followed me home from school. She had been just a kid herself. Or else she had been a "little person" (the politically correct term for a midget or dwarf). At that point it was a bit difficult to tell for sure. It was lucky I didn't like girls at that age. Not that I would have found her very attractive anyway. Plus, she did smell a bit ripe. I a little scared, but it wasn't even necessary to run. A semi-fast walk was more than sufficient. She almost made it to my house, but while crossing the street she was hit by a fast moving car. The last I saw, she was sort of stuck on (or in) the grill of the speeding vehicle, which as it happens, didn't stop.
Yeah, you never know where one of the newly risen dead will show up next. I guess it's lucky we haven't had a mass rising of dead bodies returning to life. I'm not sure any of us would survive. Of course, we do have a lot of living zombies among us. I see them every day. Driving cars while talking on their cell phones, or putting on make-up. Spewing hate, lies and bullshit on TV and elsewhere (mostly Tea Party Republicans, but there are others). And of course, all those mindless morons who go through life every day, talking, eating, etc., without ever using their brain. They might not even know they have one, for all I know.
So. Zombies. Yeah, they really are a pain in the neck. But what are you going to do? If it wasn't zombies, it would probably be something else. Take vampires, for instance. Boy...I could tell you some truly hair-raising tales about vampires...