You Talking to Me?

Blah, blah blah...talk, talk, talk...People here never stop talking. I think they believe if their mouths are not moving they will die. I like to keep to myself mostly. Mainly because I am a wanted man. I was a bankrobber back in my country and had to flee to avoid being arrested and going to prison. I changed my name and identity when I came to this magnificent country, the United States of America, Land of the Free, with the emphasis on "free." My true identity was discovered, unfortunately, a short time ago. So now I am living in Cleveland, Ohio, with my bird friend, whose new name is George. You can call me Irving. This is the reason why I don't go around telling my life story to everyone I happen to meet. Too many questions I would prefer not to answer. For some strange reason, however, people I have never seen before in my life insist upon talking to me. What is wrong with them?
I usually get up between 6:30 and 7:00 am and go out jogging. Sometimes I use a running track around a football field. This morning another man was walking on the track while I was jogging. He began asking me questions while I jogged by. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who is walking while you are jogging? Then he begins telling me all the reasons why he is walking for exercise. I am fifty feet past him and he is still talking even though I can no longer understand what he is saying. People can't shutup. Every day I see people talking on their cell phones while they are driving their cars, shopping in the supermarket, and walking down the street. I saw a homeless man who looked like he had been living in the same clothes for months who was panhandling for money, and talking on a cell phone. What's wrong with that picture?
Sometimes I go to the shopping mall to watch people. Ok, there are a lot of pretty girls who go to the mall, but I don't discriminate, I watch all kinds of people. I like sitting on a bench and just watching. So the other day, I am just sitting there enjoying myself, minding my own business, when this grandmother sits down next to me and starts talking. She asks me a couple of questions, and then begins to tell me about her late husband, her children, her grandchildren, her friends, and all her cats. Was she lonely? I don't think so. She was taking a break from shopping with her daughter, her son-in-law, and her 5 grandchildren, who all joined her a short time later. Somehow, in the chaos that followed, I managed to make my escape. Where can I go where people will leave me alone? They are driving me crazy. And so it continues, blah, blah, blah...I may have to turn myself in so I can go to prison to get some peace and quiet.