Human Roots & Who We Are

Roots are the part of the tree (or plant) that take in nourishment or food so the tree can grow. When we talk about someone's roots we usually are talking about where they came from or grew up. But the roots of a person are much more complicated than that. Where have you come from? I don't mean what country or what place, although that is part of it. We were not born today. We have a history. It started with our parents and family when we were children. Our parents had a very large influence on who are by the example of their actions and the things they tried to teach us, or in some cases, the lack there of, meaning the things they didn't do and didn't teach us.
I learned about the hard and cold side of life from my father. I can't really say he was a cold man, but he did not know how to express or even handle emotion. It wasn't his fault, I really cannot blame him. It was the manner in which he was raised as a child. He didn't have a happy childhood. I believe he had quite an unhappy childhood, actually.
The sadness I feel at his death is because of all he missed out on, all the things he did not experience as a child growing up, the high school he didn't get to finish because his parents made him go to work full time at 16, truly experiencing fatherhood with his children, and being able to be close to people in an emotional sense. I believe that his experience of life is one that I would find somewhat empty, cold, and far too lonely. I don't think he knew how or was capable of changing himself or the way he saw life. Again, this was not his fault. It was what he was taught by example and experience. His strength was in doing what he had to do in the physical world, but he simply was unable to cope with the things he could not touch, like emotion, insight, and the emotional richness of fatherhood.
Some of who I am comes from my father. I hope it makes me a stronger, and better, person for the insight. One thing I did learn from his life, is I need to reach out to people. I really don't do so well on my own. I need human contact, to share my life with those around me. Well, at least those who don't run away (a little humor there). I'm still not always good at it. Sometimes I prefer to hide away at home with a good book, but I try to make an effort.
Some of you who come to my conversation groups at the Library to learn English might think I go there to help you. Actually you are helping me. You help bring meaning, feeling, laughter, and brightness into my life. And to you, with this cup of tea, I make this toast: May Long Life, and Happiness be yours, and may there always be more joy and laughter than sorrow and tears...