The Road Attacked Me!

Ok, first, here's what really happened. This morning while I was jogging, I tripped over a high spot on the road and went sprawling (a great word; while being very similar to falling, it is much more descriptive). I took most of my weight on my arms, which were just about fully extended. This put almost all the strain on my shoulders, particularly the left shoulder, which experienced very sharp pain. It took me a good minute to manage to make myself get up, and then continue on my way. The only fortunate part of this accident was that it was a backroad, and as far as I know, no one saw me. Embarassment is sometimes harder to deal with than pain.
Now, here's the story I'm going with (the story I will tell). I was jogging down the road when I saw a child in the road about to be hit by a car. I ran across the street and pushed the child out of the way. The car hit me so hard, it threw me down an embankment (a hill going down from the side of the road). By the time I got back up to the road, both the car and the child were gone.
And so, no one will ever know what a heroic deed I performed.
Wow. Now that's the way to explain what was surely a very clumsy, and embarassing, mishap.