Some days you pay a higher price to get to the end. Today, for me, was one of those days. Oh, it wasn't a terrible day, just a bit of a hard one. A long, full day, yesterday, set me up for a really bad night's sleep. My auto-immune system disease works that way a lot of the time. When I really have an energetic day, and get a lot done, instead of helping me to sleep well that night, it does the opposite and makes it difficult to get much sleep at all. But it's not a tragedy. It's just a day when I'm not able to get much of anything done, no matter how much I would like to. And, it is difficult to feel good about anything, at the moment.
The sad aspect of the day, is that it was my brother Jeff's birthday. He died unexpectedly on January 16, 2005. I think about him most days. Probably every day. And I do have many happy memories of him. But I won't ever get over missing him. And especially today, on his birthday. On a day like today, being tired, feeling sad, and remembering the life, and the death, of my brother, I find it very difficult to find something to be happy about.
So, I will look forward to tomorrow, when I will look at the world with rested eyes, and a lighter heart.
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