There's A Bear In My Bedroom, And It's Not Me

It always seems I am waking up during the night with the bed covers down at the bottom of the bed. I just assumed I had somehow pushed them down while I was sleeping. It never crossed my mind that some other being could be pulling them down from under my bed. Who would have thought that?
So, the other night, I was partially awake, and I felt the covers being pulled down. Thinking that, maybe, I was dreaming, I climbed out of bed and knelt down to take a look under the bed. And there, looking back at me with a mouth full of teeth, was a black bear. And not a small one either. I have no idea how he (yes, it was a he) managed to get under there. As he climbed out of there, I wasn't sure if I should be afraid of him or not. But it seems, thank God, that he would rather talk than eat me. He told me later, that people really don't taste good anyway, and he was partial to pancakes.
When I asked him what he was doing under my bed, Albert (yep, his name is Albert) told me he liked it under there. He was sick of living in the, slowly disappearing, wild. He told me it was a bear eat bear world out there in the woods. Not only did he have to worry about other bears, but he also had to keep an eye out for hunters, and almost as bad, maybe even worse, land developers. These developers are cutting down the forest, and building houses and other buildings, along with creating huge parking lots. He believes most of them are Republicans, who are intent on wiping out all the bears, as well as all the other poor little animals.
I told him he could stay as long as he wanted, on the conditions that he not tie up the bathroom when I needed it, and that he not scare Eddie. He said, No problem.
He only plans on staying until the Republicans cause the collapse of human civilization, and the forest, along with the animals, take possession of the world once again. And because of my kindness, once that happens, he will protect me in the new world. Or, I should say, the return of the old world.
In the meantime, I guess I will just have to bear with him. (ouch!)