Barbecued English, and Some Translation from Bear

Language is a living thing, and it is always "evolving". Expressions, greetings, and even curse words/phrases, change in everyday use, and somewhat regularly. From What's Up (or wassup, if you prefer), to the Where you at? of New Orleans, How are you?, How you?, Howdy?, and of vourse the infamous New York, How you doing? As well as all the simplified greetings: Dude, Yo, Hey, etc. 
English is not a simple language, and definitely not an easy language to learn, particularly on the run. Most of us Americans don't really put much effort into our pronunciation, or into making an attempt to speak slowly. It's gotta' be hell for someone trying to learn English. In trying to tutor English, or in my case, simply trying to make it easier to learn English within an open conversation group, not only have I personally learned more about the language I speak, but I now find it much easier to understand bad English, broken English, and even some very badly pronounced English. I also find, that even when talking to native English speakers, I now do a lot of talking with my hands. Seems I can't help myself. But even at it's most trying, I love leading the conversation groups for ESOL learners. I enjoy myself so much, that I should probably pay them for allowing me to be there.
Plus ( a bonus), if the hurricane that's supposed to hit Florida Sunday, doesn't arrive here on Tuesday, my wonderful international friends are organizing a big barbecue in a local park. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I feel quite blessed, as well as lucky, to know these wonderful people.
And now, before I hunt down some lunch, a word from Albert, my large black bear friend. From what I gather, he did his best to track the person/thing/evil-monster-that-looks-like-me, after he bit his hand off. Which by the way, saved my life, in case you haven't been keeping up with current events. Anyroad, from his description of the track he followed, and where he lost all trace of it, I gathered that my double came from, and went back to, Little Valley, my hometown. Albert could not penetrate the barrier, or spell (if you don't mind my calling it that), that makes it very difficult for anyone, except those who have always resided there, to enter its boundaries. And so, it would seem that someone (maybe more than one someone), or something back in Little Valley wishes me harm. Seems I may have to watch my back while I try to find some answers.
Well, for now, I plan on relaxing for the remainder of the day. After fixing some lunch, I shall, hopefully, have time to read a book, and give Eddie a head-rub or two. And barring any assassination attempts, maybe I'll get a decent night's sleep. Happy trails...