Did You Say Something?

Hello? Speak up! Say something, for pete's sake. I can hear someone breathing. Maybe you need to take better care of yourself. And what have you been eating?! Your breath stinks! Sorry for being so blunt, but you could at least gargle with some mouthwash, or chew on some breath mints, for crying out loud. I know, I know, you just want to flit around reading other peoples' thoughts, and whatnot. You really don't want to talk to anyone, or especially, run into them face to face. That would be terribly uncomfortable. Oh, the embarassment. I bet you are on your couch right now, in your underwear.
But should reading peoples' private thoughts and such be that easy? Don't you think there should be a price to be paid for invading peoples' personal blogs? After all, have you never heard of the "no free lunch" rule? Please. Don't insult my intelligence. I'm sure you have no concern for those whose humble lives you drop in on to read about  whenever you feel like it, without a by-your-leave of any kind? I do have to say, that does show a certain lack of respect. 
You read my inner most thoughts and feelings, and yet, you have never offered me a cup of tea, inquired about my health (not really that great at the moment, thanks for asking), or even sent me flowers. And worse, I have never gotten a word out of you, in any form. THAT, is cold. 
Now, I'm not expecting to be paid for banging on this keyboard in some vain attempt to communicate to the world around me. Uh, uh. I would just like a little recognition. Maybe a kind word. At least some form of acknowledgement. Really. It would be nice.
Well, my Mom always told me that one day I would understand what it is to be unappreciated. I hope she's happy now, anyway. Y'all are truly unbelievable. Maybe it's because you just weren't brought up right. Or, maybe you were raised far from the normal conventions of human society. I can only begin to guess.
I bet you don't even think that I could possibly be talking to you. You probably believe that you are an intelligent (doubtful), mature (Hah!), adult human being. But I can assure you, it's only a physical thing. 
Well, it is my feeling on this particular subject, that you should make a point of doing something very nice for me. It doesn't have to be much. (I'm actually pretty easy to please.) Or, I will have no choice but to come looking for you, wherever you may reside, and pitch my tent in your front yard. If you have one. But I'm sure I will be able to settle in somewhere close by. Spend some time talking to your neighbors. Follow you around, see where you shop. Stuff like that. It could be interesting. For me, anyway.   
Maybe I'll see you soon...I'll check my schedule...