Damn Zombies

It used to be you could go weeks, sometimes even months, without seeing a zombie. These days, it seems they're popping up all over the place. I was in the gardening department at Walmart last week, when one of their employees yelled something I didn't catch. When I looked up, the employee, a she, fired a gun (a really big hand gun) in my direction. I figured she was going postal, and I was the first victim. But in fact, she put a bullet very neatly between the eyes of a zombie that had wandered in, and was about sink some really disgusting looking teeth into my shoulder. I felt obligated to buy her a large latte (a somewhat expensive cup of coffee) after that. Who wouldn't?
My neighbor had to call 911 last night because somehow a rogue (rampaging all by its lonesome) zombie got into her apartment, and had her trapped in the closet. I didn't hear a thing until the special Police Zombie Squad arrived. At least it gave her a good story to tell her friends.
I still remember my first zombie. I was 7 years old. She followed me home from school. She had been just a kid herself. Or else she had been a "little person" (the politically correct term for a midget or dwarf). At that point it was a bit difficult to tell for sure. It was lucky I didn't like girls at that age. Not that I would have found her very attractive anyway. Plus, she did smell a bit ripe. I a little scared, but it wasn't even necessary to run. A semi-fast walk was more than sufficient. She almost made it to my house, but while crossing the street she was hit by a fast moving car. The last I saw, she was sort of stuck on (or in) the grill of the speeding vehicle, which as it happens, didn't stop.
Yeah, you never know where one of the newly risen dead will show up next. I guess it's lucky we haven't had a mass rising of dead bodies returning to life. I'm not sure any of us would survive. Of course, we do have a lot of living zombies among us. I see them every day. Driving cars while talking on their cell phones, or putting on make-up. Spewing hate, lies and bullshit on TV and elsewhere (mostly Tea Party Republicans, but there are others). And of course, all those mindless morons who go through life every day, talking, eating, etc., without ever using their brain. They might not even know they have one, for all I know.
So. Zombies. Yeah, they really are a pain in the neck. But what are you going to do? If it wasn't zombies, it would probably be something else. Take vampires, for instance. Boy...I could tell you some truly hair-raising tales about vampires...